"With the things that happened to me and my daughter, do you think I will still love you?"
"With the things that happened to me and my daughter, do you think I will still love you?"
"With the things that happened to me and my daughter, do you think I will still love you?"
What Mara said a while ago keeps repeating in my mind like a broken plaque.
What she said hurts me so much.
I want to forget the pain that I am feeling now.
I decided to go out of the house.
I don't drink liquor but I don't know what pushed me to go to the bar. I don't go often to such a place.
Aside from the fact that I don't like the noise and smell of cigarettes, I'm also not a fan of drinking liquor.
I just go to a place like this for business.
I immediately went to the bartender and ordered a drink. I know that drinking will not solve my problem, but they say that it helps you forget your problem even if it's temporary. And that's what I want right now.
I want to forget the thing that my wife had said to me a while ago.
I keep consoling myself that she didn't mean what she just said. She's just angry because of what happened to baby Tanya. She loves me.
But in the back of my mind, tells me that maybe she realized that she didn't love me because of James.
She realized that she is still in love with my brother.
And that thought kills me. Having that kind of thought feels as if I have been stabbed a thousand times.
Is this my karma?
I was so selfish. I know that they are the ones who were meant for each other but I took advantage of the situation in that my brother left our family so that I can have the woman I love.
Even if I know that my brother also loves her. Between the two of us, he deserves her.
I close my eyes as I feel the tears keep coming out.
I love you, Mara.
I love you so so much.
I can't afford to lose you. I'll die if I lose you. Lord, please help me. Restore our relationship. I love her so so much.
Lord, please.
I don't know how much I drank and I honestly don't care. Until I don't feel the pain, I will continue to drink.
"A-Andrew?" I frowned when a woman called my name.
"Yelle."
She looked so shocked. "What are you doing here?"
I did not answer her and just continued drinking.
"Where is Mara?"
I still ignored her. I am not in the mood to talk. All I want is to drink until I forget the pain that I am feeling now.
I thought that drinking liquor will help me forget the pain even just for a while. But why is the pain still there? It hurts even more.
"Hello, Mara!"
I turned to Yelle.
She just rolled her eyes. "Do you know where your husband is now?"
"What? You don't care? Are you crazy?" She hissed.
She doesn't care? TSK.
"Your husband is here in The Elements. He's so drunk, maybe you want to fetch your husband??"
I was suddenly nervous. Waiting for my wife's answer.
"Mara what are you saying?! He is your husband but you don't care at all?! Did you guys fight?! I will let him here but what if someone took advantage of your husband's drunk state?" She scolded her.
"Mara!" I can hear the frustration in her voice.
"Stop calling her," I said.
"B-but Andrew!"
"She doesn't care so stop it!" I hissed and started to drink again.
"Hey, Andrew! You are not used to drinking liquor!" She said worriedly.
I chose to ignore her.
Her eyes widened as she saw how many bottles I drank.
"You drink all this?"
I just nodded to her.
I was about to order more drinks when Yelle tried to stop me.
"You know what, Andrew, you should stop drinking! That's too much! You don't even like to drink! Your tolerance for alcohol is low!" She said angrily.
"I've been drinking for a while now but I don't feel drunk! So why will I stop?!" I said annoyed at her.
"Alcohol can't solve your problem with your wife!"
"I know!"
"If you knew then why did you still drink?!"
"Because I wanted to forget!"
"What? You want to forget?"
"Yes. I wanted to forget the pain that I am feeling right now." I said while pointing to my left chest.
"It hurts so much! They say that drinking can help me relieve the pain even just for a moment! But I've been drinking for a while now but the pain is still here!" I said as I slapped my left chest.
"A-Andrew."
"I don't need your pity! I want to be alone!"
Yelle did not speak again. But she stayed beside me. He just let me to continued drinking.
***
I woke up with a painful headache.
I slowly opened my eyes.
I suddenly sat upright on the bed.
Where am I? Whose room is this? I look around the room.
My eyes widen.
This room belongs to a girl! I can't be mistaken.
My head hurts even more. What did I do? Why did I end up here?
I look at the clothes I'm wearing. I am not wearing a top but my pants are still on.
Where am I?!!
"You're awake." I turned to the woman who entered the room.
"Y-yelle?!" My eyes widen.
"What are you doing here?!"
"You were very drunk last night. I called your wife again, but she still has the same answer. So instead of other girls taking advantage of your situation, I just helped you by bringing you here."
"Did... did something happen?" I almost had a hard time asking that.
I saw her grin.
I suddenly felt nervous.
"You should be thankful that I was the one who brought you home because if it's another woman, I'm pretty sure that something will happen."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you," I said sincerely.
"It's nothing. So next time don't go to that kind of place just to get drunk. Alcohol may help you to forget for a while but alcohol is also one of the reasons why relationships and trust are broken."
I smiled and nodded. "Thank you again."