MARU's POV
"But that's a lie! I love her even before I married her! I love her since we were young and I keep on falling deeper with her every day." I said defensively.
"Yes. But did she know that?" She said and smirked.
I was left dumbfounded.
Manang Biding tap my shoulder and went back to the kitchen to prepare our dinner.
While I went to the garden to give myself some time to think.
Am I that insensitive?
I was not able to consider the things that Manang told me because for me past is past. The only important now is the present.
Right now, we both confessed our love for each other. For me, that is the only that matters. But now I am starting to realize that I should also clear all the misunderstandings about the past to finally have the peace that we all want.
Especially with all the things that have happened, I feel like something is missing. We both know and confess our feelings to one another but despite that, we still feel insecure.
It's clear now that it is not enough for me to know that Mara loves me and the same with her.
I always feel scared of the possibility that the love that Mara has for my brother will come back and the feelings that she had for me now were not enough for her to stay with me and chose me.
I didn't consider that before because we were too young at that time. We were just 10 and 11 years old for Pete's sake! We can consider it just puppy love.
I heaved a heavy sigh.
But didn't my love for Mara started as puppy love?
I was back to reality when I felt Manang Biding's tap on my shoulder.
"You should call your wife, the dinner is ready." She informed me.
I just nodded at her and went straight to our room to call my wife.
I entered our room and I saw my wife sleeping peacefully.
I went to the side of the bed and sat down quietly.
I look at my wife's beautiful and peaceful face.
My wife.
I love you so so much. I don't want to lose you.
I fix her hair and gently caress her face.
I love you, wife so much.
I slowly brought my face closer to her and move my lips closer to her. I closed my eyes and I let my lips touch her lips. I miss you so much, wife.
Mara's eye opened exactly when I had removed my lips from hers. 
"Dinner is ready my wife," I said in a sweet tone.
She just stares at me with no emotion. I feel my heart breaking whenever I see those cold eyes.
I miss you wife. I miss your smile and the love in your eyes.
When can we go back to how we used to be?
I ignored the pain that I am feeling now and tried to smile at her.
I waited for her to get ready. She went out of our room and I followed her from behind.
Mara went straight to the dining area. She gave Manang a sweet smile and greeted her. She even invited her to join us for dinner.
We were so quiet as we have our dinner.
Occasionally, I look at Mara but she was not looking back at me. She just kept on staring at the food and answers Manang Biding's questions.
I smile when I saw that my wife and Manang Biding are getting along well. There is still something to thank God for.
After dinner, my wife excused herself and went back to our bedroom to rest.
I went back to the garden to do some thinking. The beautiful and peaceful garden helps me to clear my mind.
Gradually it calms my mood.
I'm just curious. If I told Mara that my relationship with Jana only lasted a month or even less, will anything change?
If I told her that I never loved Jana and she was only the woman that I ever loved, will that give her more assurance?
Is the love that I have shown her now still not enough for her to stop thinking that I am just forcing myself to love her?
And now that James is here, can she still say that she loves me?
When the baby is here with us, will she stop being cold at me? Will she give this marriage a chance even just for Tanya's sake?
What do I need to do?
"What are you doing there?"
I was a little surprised when I heard my wife's voice. I turn to face her. She still has the coldness in her eyes.
I gave her my sweetest smile.
"Is my wife worried about me?" I said to tease her.
Mara's forehead furrowed. "Why should I worry about you? You were just at home?" She said sarcastically.
My shoulder dropped from her answer. What do I expect her to say?
"Just thinking," I answered instead. Ignoring the pain I felt.
She raised her brow.
"Who are you thinking?" She said frowning.
"Why do you want to know? Are you jealous wife?" I said to tease her again, trying to lighten the mood.
I must say that I feel relieved somehow because she is now starting to talk to me, though there is still coldness in her voice. It's still considered an improvement.
"Why will I be jealous?" She asked a bit annoyed.
"Because you love me?" I said hoping she will say yes.
"Love is not jealous." She said, feeling like she was talking to herself.
"Maybe you are right, I'm jealous." She said then smirked.
I frowned at what we just said. I didn't like it.
She was about to leave but I held her hand.
"What did you say?" I asked her.
"Love is not jealous. Maybe you are right, I am jealous." She repeated what she just said.
I felt pain in my chest again. "You don't love me?" I asked.
I want to hear her answer clearly. I'm still hoping that she will say no and she will tell me that she still loves me.
"With the things that happened to me and my daughter, do you think I will still love you?" She said coldly and left me dumbfounded.