"She will be weak for a week, but once her body catches up. She'll be as strong as ever," the unfamiliar voice says.
The hands on my skin are gentle and cold. My eyes open to see an old woman looking at me and placing a cold compress on my forehead. Harbin is also beside the bed, looking curiously at me.
"What happened?" I ask.
"You collapsed," Harbin answers while the physician is quietly taking care of me.
"Why? Is it the stress?"
"No. You are pregnant," he answers nonchalantly.
Pregnant? Me? My eyes open wide. "Who else knows?"
There is a budding hope in my chest. I am pregnant with Theo's child! Even when werewolves always had a hard time conceiving!
"Only me and the physician."
My smile widens. I am happy. All the sickness I felt is all worth it! I want to tell him soon! I look outside the window. It's afternoon now. I've been unconscious for a while, but it doesn't matter. I sit up and reach for Harbin's hand.
"Call him," I whisper, feeling ecstatic. "Call Theo. He's just been here. Tell him that I want to meet him now."
"I-" Harbin hesitates. He shifts his attention to the physician. Instead, the physician bows at him and leaves my room.
"I want to be the one to tell him the great news!" I exclaim.
"Kaiya, you know that the King is-"
"Please, Harbin. If you don't, I will go to his harem and announce it to him. I don't care if he's-"
"Fine! I will call him back!" Harbin cuts me off.
He stands up, and I watch him leave the room. Excited, I look around the room. Everything is in place. I look at myself and see that I am not presentable. So, I fix my bed before getting up to change my clothes and comb my hair.
Moving around is a hassle. It is hard and my body screams with exhaustion. But it all does not matter. I am high with the news!
After fixing myself, I get a book and crawl back to my bed. I will wait for Theo, no matter how long it will take. Besides, with this great news, I doubt I will be able to sleep.
I touch my stomach. I was jealous of Theo's women, but not anymore. I have a child with him now. Someone I will treasure for the rest of my life, of our lives. I feel lucky. Nowra said that most werewolves are infertile. And it's rare to have a kid amongst the werewolves. And right now, I am so happy to be blessed with a child.
The door opens, and my gaze falls on Theo. He runs to me and hugs me to his chest. I giggle.
"You change your mind?" he asks. He is about to remove his clothes when I stop him.
"I have something to tell you."
"What is it?" he asks, showering light kisses on my face.
"Stop!" I say, laughing. I have such a good mood that even when I smell other women in him, I ignore it.
"Can I make love with you, Kaiya?" he asks.
"No, not yet, at least," I answer. "But you can stay in bed with me. We can hug and kiss," I say, trying to compromise.
He shifts my head and places a kiss on my neck. Then, he starts to suck on it.
"Theo, let's talk," I say, my arms on his shoulders.
He didn't let go and only pulls back when the love mark on my neck was done. "There, perfect," he says.
I pat the part of the bed in front of me and says, "Here, sit."
He did and sit cross-legged in front of me. He gazes at my face and I make a wide smile. "I am pregnant," I squeal, ecstatic that I am breaking the news to him.
But instead of the delight that I am expecting from him, he freezes. He blinks twice and looks away from me.
"That's right. We've been making love a lot, so it's to be expected."
I feel like cold water douses my happiness. Pain pricks my heart as I study him. Contrary to what he said before, he doesn't want this. He wants all his women to get pregnant except me. My arms drop to my side, and I lean on the headboard.
"You are not happy," I snort. Why did I just remember now that his first child should not come from me? Of course, he won't be happy. We've talked about this before.
He glances back at me, and when he sees my state, he frowns. "I told you before, right? The only reason why my generals accepted you as my lover is IF our children will never be my heirs."
"Right."
I also look away. It's painful to see the expressions on his face. My hand automatically goes to my belly. Nowra said that pregnancy among werewolves is celebrated even if it's not a good time, even if there is a war. And right now, we are in a peaceful era.
Nowra also said that It is our instinct to procreate, especially since our numbers are dwindling. Maybe that instinct is the reason why I forgot about the need for my child to never be the eldest.
"My children from other women are all dead. This means that this child on your belly will be my firstborn," he explains.
I don't want to listen anymore. I am disappointed that he's not happy to have this child because of human politics. Too much for wanting so badly to have a child with him.
"Leave," I say instead. My heart is breaking again and every time it happens, it is more painful than the previous. The love between us is never enough to go against what we are right now.
He reaches out to touch my cheeks, but I evade his touch. "Are you going to get mad at me again, Kaiya?"
"Mad?" I ask. "Do I even have the right to get mad at my King?"
"Oh, Kaiya. I am not your King." He moves closer to me and cups my face into his hands, something that I can't evade. "Don't forget that I am your lover even if I am not happy with this pregnancy."
I flinch. He's not happy? I stare into his eyes. This need in him. Is this not love? Is this just his lust for me? Am I just someone that is the object of his desire? Am I nothing more to him than that?
Come to think of it. The only time I felt his love is only in bed, while we were making love. No. I'm guessing it's only sex for him. He forces me to study and train, just so I will deserve the title of a King's lover.
But does love need requirements? I did ask for an ordinary man as my mate, but I still accept him into my heart. I wonder… If I didn't do all these lessons and training, will he throw me back to the hunting park?
Probably. I might also be labeled as a reject. Someone that can't meet his demands.
"Are you doubting my love again?" he whispers. He takes a deep sigh and wraps his arms around me. "Kaiya, if we are in a different position, I will be very happy with this. Understand that-"
"But we are not," I cut him off.
Theo looks back at me, frowning. "What?"
"We are not, Theo. Why are you thinking about things that we will never be? You are my King, and I am nothing more than a werewolf you freed."
"Kaiya…"
"Just leave!"
I watch the pain in his eyes. But I don't care anymore. My pain is greater than whatever he is feeling now. He can't accept our child. That's what he is telling me, same as he can never accept me if I don't raise myself to his standards.
"Kaiya, oh damn, please, don't-"
"Leave!" I scream. I hit his chest. "Leave me alone! I want to think! I want to be alone!"
"Kaiya, please…"
"Don't wait for me to get violent, Theo!"
Pain and guilt write on his face. It is so pronounced that it even adds up to my pain.
"When you have calmed down, call for me again. I will come running here, whenever you want me," he says and leaves.
Like earlier, when he leaves the room, I hug my knees to my chest and start to cry.