Chapter 12
Matthew, please be kind to me.
...
In the first snow of the first year, Matthew failed to kiss Paisley.
But the next day, when Paisley saw Matthew standing downstairs as always, with her swollen eyes, she was relieved inexplicably. She relied on him a bit. The most terrible thing in the world was the habit. When one was used to being around someone, he would not be able to live without the other.
Paisley was addicted to his company. She didn't feel so warm for a long time. Grandpa was in Plence, and Mom was in Oakwood. And her father had become someone else's father. She walked so many ways every day, and there were so many people coming and going. But only Matthew was around her, always smiled at her, and called her Paise.
"Paise, do you like me a little bit today, a little more than yesterday?"
"No, not at all."
But back to the dormitory at night, when Paisley lay on the bed and closed her eyes, she would raise the corner of her mouth unconsciously. In fact, it was a little more than yesterday.
Paisley was a little afraid of love. When love came, Matthew would be the master of her emotions.
She was afraid that she would become a pathetic woman who lost herself for love like her mother.
Time kept moving on. In the first semester of her sophomore year, the weather gradually turned cold, but Paisley's heart was getting warmer.
When she saw the big boy in a light green trench coat walking over with his long legs, her heart would miss a beat. A peacock! But so many people were watching him, and he only looked at her. When he trotted all the way over with a childish smile, Paisley was a little proud. This person liked her.
There was not much Paisley could do. She couldn't avoid him, and she couldn't stop thinking of him inadvertently.
When the weather forecast said that the first snow was coming, Paisley became anxious. She prohibited Matthew from going to the library with her, saying that it would affect her studies. Matthew constantly complained and ran to ask Dawson what he had done wrong to offend Paisley.
He was too close to it, but Dawson could see it clearly.
Dawson found Paisley on the third floor in the library, who was standing in front of the window, looking out at the blue sky, and unconsciously fiddling with the small wooden block. The breeze blew the gauze curtains around, up and down. Her figure loomed like a white bird that would fly away at any time. But the struggle was going on in her eyes.
That was the look of attachment in her eyes. Dawson walked to her. She didn't want to speak, so he didn't talk and only accompanied her quietly.
Some undefinable time later, Paisley asked, "Dawson, have you liked someone?"
Dawson thought for a long time and shook his head.
Paisley laughed, very light, and then said, "It's a good thing to like someone."
"Then why do you still hide from him?"
"I'm afraid," Paisley said.
Only in front of Dawson, Paisley could tell her fear frankly.
She was afraid of losing him. She was afraid that Matthew no longer loved her. She was also afraid that Matthew wasn't her Mr. Right but another Greyson.
Paisley laughed at himself, "I'm selfish and stingy. My love is only a little bit. Just a little. But I'm still worried and afraid that he isn't worth it."
"Then..." Dawson thought about it, "Let me test him."
[At 12 noon, see you under the kapok tree on the library lawn.]
Dawson used Paisley's cell phone to send a text message to Matthew and then turned it off. Afterward, he took her to his private study room on the second floor.
The window was facing the lawn, with a clear view below. Paisley suddenly understood.
Matthew came quickly. He was refreshed, wearing a black mid-length trench coat, jeans, and boots. His hands were in his pockets. and he smartly leaned against the tree. Paisley could clearly see that he bent the corner of his mouth and looked very pleasant.
"You rarely send him a message. He looks very happy."
"Hmm." Paisley nodded. She was really not good to Matthew and rarely responded to him.
Ten minutes later, Matthew called Paisley. Hearing the prompt sound of the shutdown, he was a little confused. Half an hour passed, and Matthew still didn't see Paisley. He picked up his cell phone and kept calling. Those calls that weren't answered should be for Paisley. Those calls that were answered should be for others. He seemed to be looking for someone. Dawson also got a call from Matthew. He asked Dawson if he had seen Paisley.
Matthew had waited for two hours. Paisley's cell phone was off and she didn't come. If it was someone else, he could leave early because the other blew him off. But Matthew kept waiting, walking up and down anxiously, and constantly calling as if he wouldn't leave unless Paisley showed up.
It was silly. He wasn't such a stupid person. Paisley felt a little oppressed and said, "It's cold today."
It was really cold. The first snow this year was coming, and it had gotten cold these days. In such weather, it was easy to catch a cold outdoors, not to mention that Matthew didn't wear much. He always preferred looking cool to dressing warmly. Seeing that his face was pale, Paisley couldn't help thinking, "It's so cold. Why don't you go back? Why do you still wait for me? Are you a fool? Why do you do so only because of a message from me?"
It was four o'clock in the afternoon. He had waited for four hours under the tree and did not dare to leave.
Paisley couldn't sit still. She kept looking at the door and stood up. "I'm going home."
Dawson stopped her. "Have you made up your mind?"
Paisley hesitated, "I, I don't know."
She really didn't know. She only knew that she couldn't stand it. She couldn't bear to see Matthew wait alone downstairs. She couldn't bear to see him constantly calling all to find her. She couldn't bear to see his pale mouth in the wind.
"If you don't make up your mind, don't go downstairs. He doesn't need your sympathy."
"I..." Paisley's eyes turned red, and at this moment, her accumulated emotions broke out.
Dawson proved that Matthew deserved her love, but what about herself? Did she like him? Paisley leaned on the wall, and her mind was in turmoil. Why was she so timid and selfish? She was always worried about the gains and losses, which was not good at all. Even if she was with Matthew, she couldn't give him anything!
"He deserves much better," she murmured to herself.
Dawson was silent. As time went by, it was already dark. Most of the day stole by.
Suddenly, a neat exclamation came from the fifth floor of the library, which was the computer center. With a hint sound, a notice for missing people popped up in the lower right corner of the screen of Dawson's computer. There was a photo of Paisley on it as well as the message: if you see this person, please contact Matthew immediately. Matthew's number was also on it.
Dawson was stunned. "He is so crazy. He asked the computer center to post a notice!"
This was Matthew's style. She just asked him if he dared to come, and he really gave up a better university and came here.
Now he couldn't find her. He was anxious for her safety. So he put a notice on the campus network.
Paisley was also shocked. Dawson looked up. "Go down, Paise. Don't think so much, and give yourself a chance."
Paisley nodded and went to open the door. Then she heard Dawson gently say behind her, "Paise, don't be afraid anymore."
Paisley didn't know how she walked up to Matthew and her legs were like lead.
He was worried about her safety and was anxious to find her everywhere. She watched him anxiously stand in the cold wind from upstairs.
Paisley almost dared not look at him. She took a deep breath. The moment Matthew saw her, he rushed over at once. He grabbed her arm, looked around at her, and then breathed a sigh of relief. But the next second, he looked livid and asked loudly, "Paisley Logan, where did you go? Your phone is off. Do you know that I have been looking for you for more than half a day?"
He only called her full name when he was angry.
Paisley looked at him. He looked very bad. His hair was untidy, his face was pale, and his skin was very dry. Besides, his eyes were red, and his lips were blue with cold. He looked very tired. She had known him for so long, but it was the first time that Paisley saw Matthew in such a mess. He had always been youthful and vigorous.
Paisley was on the verge of tears, but she held back. "My phone is out of power."
"Your phone is out of power. How about you? If you can't come, you can tell me, even if you ask someone to take a message." Matthew was really angry this time. "Do you know how long I have waited? Do you know how anxious I am that I can't find you? I thought you, you..."
Matthew couldn't go on. The wind was so strong that Paisley was unsteady on her feet. Matthew stood in the wind for a long time, but she watched him indifferently from upstairs. Thinking of it, she couldn't bear it. She complained, "Are you stupid? Why didn't you go back even though I didn't come?"
"I..." Matthew's mood was stuck in his throat.
He wanted to say that he was very happy to receive her text message. He came cheerfully because Paise rarely sent him a text message. On his way, he was wondering whether Paisley was willing to be his girlfriend. Unexpectedly, what he was waiting for was the cold wind and panic for most of the day.
At first, he thought that Paisley was late. Then he called her cell phone and found it was off. He couldn't find her. He wondered if there was an accident. He knew that Paisley never broke the appointment. For a long time, he was full of bad thoughts and did not dare to leave, fearing that Paise would not be able to see him when she came here. He was so anxious that he called all his friends and even posted the notice for missing people. He forgot that it was in school and that it was safe.
He was too worried to remember that. But Paisley only said that her phone was out of power, and even complained about why he didn't go back.
This time, Matthew was really sad. He looked at her, who was always indifferent and unimpressed about anything. He wanted to tell her that he was very worried. He wanted her not to do so like that next time, because he would be anxious. But would she understand? No, she wouldn't care.
Matthew let go of Paisley and said angrily, "You are right! I'm stupid, so stupid that I think I can move you."
He continued, "I'm too naive. I think as long as I'm good to you, you will remember me. But someday if I disappear like this, you won't care and won't think of me! For so long, you never cared about me. Even if I cover a stone, it will be warmer than you."
After speaking, he turned to leave angrily.
This was the first time he left in front of her resolutely as if he would never come back.
Paisley's heart was like being pierced by a needle several times. She chased after a few steps, but Matthew walked quickly, and soon there was a long distance between them. It turned out that if he wanted to leave, there would be as much distance as he wanted. Paisley stopped and shouted behind.
"Right, I don't give a fig about you. I don't care about you!
"Isn't it just half a day? I'll do so like you! We have nothing to do with each other later!"
Paisley shouted, but Matthew didn't look back. She stood where she was, squatting on the ground painfully. It was clear that what she wanted to say was not like this. She wanted to say that she cared about him...
Matthew strode away, and he was very disappointed. When he heard her words, he was angrier and went faster.
He wouldn't go to her anymore! He thought angrily and aggressively, "Paisley is heartless and colder than a stone."
He walked to the nearest cafeteria and ordered seafood noodles. He was almost frozen and very hungry.
The noodles were not yet cooked, so Matthew sat and waited. The more he thought about it, the more aggrieved he was.
He came from a good family. Although his mother passed away early and his father was busy with work, the people around him never ignored him. All valued him. But he met Paisley, who was indifferent to him. In order to apply for the same university as Paisley, his father almost beat him, but as a result... she didn't care about him at all!
The phone rang and interrupted his musings. Matthew became nervous and wondered if it was Paise's call...
But when he saw the screen, it was a strange phone number. Matthew was so angry that he almost threw the phone away. The person who called asked him if he was looking for Paisley and said he saw her, who was under the kapok tree in the library.
"I don't know her!" Matthew hung up angrily.
Then one after another called him. His noodles hadn't been cooked yet, and he had gotten a couple of calls, but none of them were Paisley's! Matthew angrily turned off his mobile phone and threw it on the table. His eyes were sore. Paise was too cruel. He had waited for her for so long. She didn't try to keep him. It turned out that he was really not as important as a cat to her!
Matthew felt bitter. Staring at the mobile phone, he thought it was a call from her.
She couldn't. As she said, "Isn't it just half a day? I'll do so like you! We have nothing to do with each other later!" Matthew stood up sharply. The person said just now that she was under the kapok tree.
Did she still be there? Would she stand for half a day?
Okay, she wanted to do so. Let her do it!
But it was so cold. Paisley would really do this. He was almost frozen, not to mention her...
Matthew became ambivalent again. He stood up and sat down. Finally, he forced himself to sit down. He thought he shouldn't care about her and think of her anymore.
But when the owner served the noodles, Matthew shot off.
The owner shouted behind, "Hey, your noodles!"
Matthew found Paisley, who was really under the kapok tree. She was sitting with her legs in her arms, her face buried in her knees.
Matthew was really gloomy and uncomfortable. He squatted down and poked her lightly. "What are you doing?"
Paisley didn't move, and after a while, she said in a low voice, "It's none of your business!"
She only said, "Give it back to you!"
Paisley was obviously angry with him. Matthew became mightily pleased for no reason. "Don't do this. Go back. It's too cold."
Paisley remained unmoved and sat there stubbornly. A gust of strong wind blew over. Matthew saw that she was shaking. His heart ached. He said softly, "Don't make trouble and go back."
"Okay, it's all my fault. I shouldn't yell at you."
"Paise, don't do this, okay?"
Paisley still ignored him. She just hugged her knees and shivered. Matthew couldn't bear to see it. The wind had blown his anger away. He said softly, "OK, if you really want to give it to me, I'll accompany you."
With these words, he sat beside her and boldly took her shoulders. This was the first time they leaned so close. She didn't dodge, and Matthew leaned over again and whispered, "Paise, Paise, you look up."
He raised her face gently, and her eyes were redder than those of a rabbit, which was full of grievances and sadness. Matthew's heart wrenched. "Did you cry?"
"No." That being said, Paisley's voice was hoarse, "Aren't you gone?"
"I..." Matthew didn't know what to say. Without thinking, he reached out and held her in his arms. She was as cold as an ice sculpture. Matthew's heart ached for her. He held her tightly and continued, "Sorry, Paise, I'm sorry..."
In fact, he didn't know what he did wrong, but he felt sorry because he made her so aggrieved.
Paisley really cried this time and croaked, "I'm not a stone."
"What?"
"I'm not a stone."
Matthew pulled her away and saw her crying with red eyes and looking at him sadly.
At this moment, it began to snow little by little first and finally in great flakes, and soon the lawn became white. There was a thin layer of snowflakes on their shoulders. Paisley looked up at him, helpless and lonely. She still stubbornly repeated, "I'm not a stone..."
She was not a stone. She would be hurt and distressed, and she would like someone. She also had feelings.
She grabbed his placket, and the snow fell on her face, melting like a tear hanging on her cheek.
Matthew couldn't help but lean over and kiss the tear gently. He took off his trench coat and gently draped it around her. The trench coat was very large. She looked smaller under the coat, like a little girl in need of care, helpless and lonely. When he leaned slightly and helped her button up, Paisley reached out and hooked his neck, and trembling, put her lips on his lips.
He said that when the first snow came, he would kiss her.
This was the first snow this year. The tears that Paisley held back finally fell on Matthew's hands, which were hot.
Matthew couldn't believe it, but the soft touch on his lips was so clear. He reacted and kissed her carefully. She didn't object. He saw that Paisley closed her eyes and her eyelashes were trembling slightly.
Paise kissed me! Matthew was so ecstatic, and he subconsciously wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her excitedly, a little urgent. But slowly, when their lips and teeth were intersecting, he became more and more gentle and affectionate as if he was kissing the love of his life.
The snow billowed, fell on their shoulders, and then warmly melted.
They embraced each other tightly in the snow. When their lips were parted, Matthew heard her say, "Matthew, please be kind to me."
There was no shortage of storms and strife in this world, but please didn't let me suffer from these in the years with you.
Please didn't put me in a state of uneasiness and leave me nowhere to go.
She looked at him obsessively and almost cried. Matthew's heart hurt. He let go of her and took off the ear diamond in the left ear. Then Matthew kneeled down on one knee and slowly put the ring on the ring finger of her right hand solemnly and pityingly. This was his mother's relics and a love token of his parents. Now he gave it to her, which would be their love token.
"Paise, you know the meaning of this ring." Matthew didn't get up. He looked at her with deep affection, "Please believe me. This is my promise."
When they first met, he said if their names were put together, it would be a promise. Now, he made her a promise, a love commitment.
Paisley did not refuse. She looked at the ring on the ring finger. The ring fitted her well as if it was custom-made for her. She wanted to cry again, but she felt embarrassed. She reached out, hugged him, and buried herself in his arms. At this moment, she only felt warm and no longer afraid.
That night, when Paisley returned to the dormitory, she put her hand wearing a ring in her pocket shyly, like a small secret hidden in her heart. She was reluctant to let others know about it. But today Matthew almost called everyone and looked for her in a big way. So it could be nothing at all.
Her roommates crossed their arms around her, "Come on. Tell us!"
When Paisley blushed and raised her right hand, the dormitory made a howl - "Ahhhhh!"
Paisley finally got married! "Young Master" finally got his wish! They were so excited as if it was their daughter that got married...
"Paise, wish you two lifelong happiness and perfect harmony."
"Be happy! Get married as soon as you graduate, and get your marriage license!"
Paisley wanted to laugh and weep all at once, but at that moment, she was unprecedentedly happy.
She thought she would always be so happy...
It was like a sigh.
It was kneaded into the tears of Paisley in horror.
It became a thorn of pain day and night.