Chapter 18
Do you think I will leave you alone when I'm here?
...
Paisley stayed in Oakwood.
As Madison said, life was not easy. She was a student who couldn't do anything and had no academic background. So it was more difficult for her to survive. Paisley wasn't picky. She didn't find a technical job but a receptionist in a company. If an acquaintance met her, he would probably be surprised. Greyson's daughter, who almost became Anderson's daughter-in-law, worked at the front desk of a company. But she didn't mind. For her, the most important thing was to make a living and be able to afford the rent.
She broke off contact with everyone and changed her phone number. She only sent her new phone number to two people. One was Madison. She told her mother that she was fine in Oakwood. Madison called her, but Paisley didn't pick up. Madison sent a text message over: If you can't stay there any longer, come to me.
Paisley didn't reply to her. Another was Dawson. Since the accident, Dawson had been very concerned about her. He blamed himself. If Paisley hadn't taken his advice, she wouldn't have been with Matthew and then suffered a lot. It was none of his business. It was they that brought it on themselves.
Paisley had a rough time in Oakwood alone. Dawson helped her a lot.
Paisley could only do some simple work at the beginning, and later Dawson introduced her to a design company as an assistant. Now there were too many college students. Paisley didn't get a graduation certificate. It was not easy for her to work at the company.
Dawson asked Paisley if she wanted to go back to school. If she did, he would help her. After Paisley thought it over, she shook her head, "Now I'm also fine. Even if I graduate from university, I'll have to start at the beginning again."
"Paise, you don't need to feel guilty or punish yourself."
Paisley shook her head. "I just don't want to be entangled with the past."
She wanted to say goodbye to the past, everything.
Dawson occasionally came to Paisley, but the two never talked about Matthew.
Paisley also never asked about Matthew as if he had never appeared in her life and she didn't love or hate him.
Time passed by. Madison continued to struggle in another city. They rarely contacted each other and had a problem with each other, so they became more estranged. Besides, Madison's career was not particularly smooth. She remit money to Paisley several times, but Paisley didn't accept it. Madison felt disappointed and didn't care about her anymore as before.
Like everyone else in the city, Paisley got up early and went to work by bus. It took four hours to commute from Houis District to Plido District. She was busy every day. Sometimes she worked overtime late and had to catch up with the last bus. There were empty seats on the bus, which was rare. Paisley looked outside. Everything outside flashed by, so bright. At this moment, she couldn't help thinking about what she lived for.
Among those who crammed onto the bus with her every day, some come to Oakwood in order to realize their dreams, others wanted to fight for a place in the city, and some young couples tried to fight for their future... What about her? Paisley didn't know. She was just very busy surviving.
She now worked as an interior designer, designing one-of-a-kind homes for her clients. Each client, who came to the company and expressed his needs to Paisley, was radiant and with expectation and happiness, told Paisley what style he wanted about the bedroom and the living room... Paisley listened quietly and unconsciously smiled. How happy! They had a home.
She had a home, but her home was destroyed by herself and fell apart.
On her twenty-first birthday, Paisley worked overtime. When she came out of the company, she ran to the bus station. The idea instantly popped into her head: buy a house!
Yeah, the purpose of her life was to buy a small house, not a big one, just a place to live. It would be her home. When she was tired, she could lie on a soft bed. She could keep a cat or a dog. She would design the house well and make it warm and unique. After making up her mind, Paisley became secretly relieved. She also had a life goal. The price of a house was very high in Oakwood. It would take her several years to save up for only a down payment.
At the age of 21, Paisley lived a hard and quiet life.
She had no friends. Except for Dawson, no one knew about her past. As before, she put everyone she met in their proper places. The colleagues were colleagues, and the clients were clients. She was polite and unfamiliar to everyone. She armed herself like a hedgehog. As long as someone got close to her, she would protect herself with the thorns.
She had nothing and lived a poor and stingy life. She always rented a house in the cheapest old place in Houis District. Almost every once in a while, she had to rent a house again. She had moved house several times. She lived in a leaky house and a house without air conditioning during the hot days of summer. She also met a terrible landlord, who threw out her with her luggage...
She calmly accepted everything given by fate. No one knew that the incommunicative girl had a mother with a great career in another city, and a father who had eight houses in Oakwood. Her half-brother, Malcolm, who studied in the international school near her company, took a luxury car to go to school and return home from school.
Speaking of Malcolm, Paisley saw him several times.
Malcolm was in primary school and had forgotten his sister who came from the countryside to ask for money. Paisley recognized Malcolm at a glance because he took after Greyson. It was the first time she saw him on the road. He was getting out of the car and Paisley hid subconsciously. Later, she found that she was overthought. It was the driver that picked him up. The driver didn't know her. Malcolm hopped and passed by as if she was a stranger.
Paisley looked back, thinking of Greyson. If her father knew about her current situation, how would he respond? She shook her head again and felt funny. In the past, they lived in the neighboring community, but they never met. Now they lived in different districts, it was more unlikely to meet each other. Houis District and Plido District were both in Oakwood but entirely different.
Perhaps she was too lonely. She knew Malcolm nearby and always took special care of him.
Malcolm was a little shorter than his peers, wearing a Western-style school uniform, and looked a little like Conan at first sight. When she was a child, Paisley disliked him. Now she grew up and thought he was only a rompish child.
But even if she knew he was her brother, Paisley never tried to recognize him.
One day, Malcolm was waiting for a car by the side of the road. Suddenly, a car came careening toward him. Paisley just passed by and gave him a hand. There were shouts all around. Paisley took Malcolm in her arms and looked down at his face similar to Greyson's. She quickly let go of him and walked forward. Unexpectedly, Malcolm followed. Paisley realized that after walking a long way.
Paisley stopped, crossed her arms, and asked, "Why did you follow me?"
"Hey, you just saved me. I haven't thanked you yet." Malcolm said politely and seriously, "Thank you."
Malcolm finished his words and then smiled sweetly at Paisley. Afterward, he went back to the school gate, with his small bag swinging behind him.
Paisley was stunned. Malcolm was more polite and lovely than before.
She could not bear to shout, "Hey, be careful."
"I see," Malcolm said, looking back. "You are very nice."
Paisley was a little surprised. Was she nice?
No one thought she was nice except her grandpa. Her mother blamed her for ruining her career, her father disliked her, and Matthew...
Paisley shook her head. She didn't expect to meet Malcolm again a few days later. He still remembered her and insisted on inviting her to eat ice cream in return.
Malcolm was short, with big eyes and a clear voice. After talking to him, Paisley thought he was very cute. Victoria was shrewd, but Malcolm was a kind and adorable child. They gradually became friends. Malcolm asked Paisley about her name, and Paisley said, "Just call me sister."
Malcolm couldn't guess that Paisley was his sister, and Paisley didn't want to tell him. She asked Malcolm not to tell his family about her. It was their secret. Children were always interested in secrets. Malcolm happily agreed and made secret friends with this sister.
Malcolm liked to talk very much. Every time he saw Paisley, he always kept talking. He told Paisley that he was too short and his classmates all bullied him. His father loved him but was very busy. His mother only liked to get a facial every day and looked in the mirror more times than she looked at him...
When Paisley was listening, she wanted to laugh and weep all at once. She told him that it was okay that he was short. As long as he drank more milk, he would soon grow tall.
Malcolm's eyes were wide and he asked expectantly, "Really?"
"But how bad the milk tastes!" Malcolm added with a scrunched-up face.
Paisley laughed. She didn't know why she got so close to Malcolm. Maybe it was because of a tie of blood, or she was too lonely. It was also possible because the adult world was too complex for her to understand, and she wanted to hide in the innocence of a child and had a short rest.
Paisley felt tired, living a hard life.
She was only twenty-one years old, but it was like the end of her life. It was hard to feel happy or sad again. She had nothing but dusty memories, but she knew that she could not blame anyone else for her end. She could only tell herself that she had a goal that she wanted a small house, and she wanted to give herself a home. She made a living, only to be alive.
Every day passed dully, and three years passed unconsciously.
Paisley was also used to living such an ordinary life. She thought that her life would always be like this. One day she could save enough money to buy a house and have a home, and then one day she would die of old age in her small house. For three years, she was still alone. She moved home several times with her grandpa's photo. Every time she saw the photo of her grandpa, she told herself to find a boyfriend.
She was at the best age. She was young and beautiful, but a little cold. Someone chased after her, but she couldn't do it. The moment someone gave a hint, Paisley would run away like a frightened rabbit, let alone going out on a date.
The short love burned all her courage and strength, only leaving her an empty shell. When the wind blew in, it was chilly and left without any trace. She couldn't love anymore.
For three years, Paisley hadn't thought of Matthew or inquired about him. He was sentenced to three years. The Waylons would get him out earlier, but Matthew didn't show up and Paisley didn't find him either.
She lived quietly in this world, but the world seemed to have nothing to do with her.
On New Year's Eve, when she was 23 years old, she was thrown out by the landlord who was eager to reunite.
She walked alone in the snowy long street. When she saw the man, for an instant, her heart was broken.
He reappeared in front of her without any sign.
Matthew had no obvious change, but Paisley believed stubbornly that he had changed and thoroughly remoulded himself. He became thinner and his facial features were profound and clear. He held a black umbrella and wore a black windbreaker, which made him look more handsome and mature like an adult. His smile was bright and gentle. Matthew, whom she had known before, was a big boy who was very swanking and childish.
In a flash, Paisley almost cried.
She wanted to say to time, "Give back previous Matthew to me. After only three years, you took him out of shape."
Matthew walked to her step by step and said, "Isn't this Paise?"
Then he continued with a smile as if he had known that, "Aren't you still unloved?"
Paisley's heart was very painful, and she wanted to cry. She hurried past for fear that the wind and snow would blow her tears out.
This was Matthew Waylon. They hadn't seen each other for three years.
Three years ago, they separated with hatred and said goodbye. Why did they still meet?
It was snowing, but it was not big enough to cover up the unbearable past and numb the incurable wound.
Matthew said in her ear, "What? My Paise, don't you congratulate me on my release?"
He said gently and sarcastically, "I'm back, and you'll be loved again."
His ambiguous words and warm breathing made Paisley's ears a little red.
She wished she could look up proudly and say, "Someone else loves me." In that way, she would completely say goodbye to the past and get a new life, instead of destructively clinging to the withered love. But she could not. There was no trace of color in her gray life. Paisley could only pretend to ask calmly, "Are you released?"
She succeeded in seeing Matthew's slightly hateful eyes, but as in the past, Paisley felt no pleasure. In the past three years, Paisley had deeply understood that love should not be hurt. At the moment, she just wanted to leave. She said, "Matthew, we don't owe each other anymore."
Paisley moved forward, and just a few steps later, she fell into an embrace, and the warmth was overwhelming. When Matthew's coat, like a huge curtain of sky, fell steadily on them and wrapped them up, Paisley was like hiding in a safe fort. The snow and wind were cut off, the world was warm, and his smell was full of her nose, which was familiar but a little different, without the light smell of cigarettes.
Matthew held her hard and said, "Where are you going? Do you think I will leave you alone when I'm here?"
Only he would worry about whether she was lonely and alone or not. Paisley despairingly buried her head in Matthew's shoulder and put her face on his chest. It was so snowy outside that she just wanted to hide for a while.
She said, "It's too cold."
It was really cold. The world always made her feel cold.
The first time she felt cold was when she went to her father. He pointed at a baby without warning and said, "This is your brother." Then she was shut out by her mother and almost froze to death on New Year's Eve. And that night, Matthew went into her body without thinking about her feelings. The next day, she saw Grandpa lying on the hospital bed. She put her face close to Grandpa's cold face. It was cold to the bone... This piercing coldness would awaken Paisley in the dead of night. Matthew's curse would ring in her ears: Paisley, you are a vicious woman, and no one will love you.
She was vicious, but she had sincerely loved every loved one.
Her thorns were all over her body. One end was pointing at others, and the other one was getting into her body. It was rooted in the flesh and blood, just like a bee's sting. If someone was pricked by a sting, he would only feel pain but the bee would lose its life.
Paisley held Matthew tightly, and her heart was painful, but her body was warm.
A flying moth darted into the fire until it died. In fact, there was no difference between a person and a moth. For a little warmth, one could pay with his life. She was similar to her mother.
The snow was still falling, and they hugged each other in the snow for a while.
Matthew took her away and she didn't refuse. She was really lonely for too long. She couldn't refuse the only warmth on a snowy night. Besides, it was New Year's Eve...
When the car started, Paisley looked out of the window and said to herself that it was just this night.
This night, Cinderella was sitting in a pumpkin carriage, wearing crystal shoes, and dancing with the prince.
This night, she temporarily lived in a fairy tale world, forgetting the cold reality of tit for tat and their mutual injury.
In the past, I got you used to having me.
Inthe future, I'll get you used to loving me.