Chapter 8 I Wish It Was A Dream
Queenie lowered her head and clutched the shopping bag she had just bought with both hands. Her mind was in turmoil as she thought about various things.
Timothy called the driver to drive the car out of the basement and park it at the nearest exit to them. The two of them got into the car one after the other. Queenie watched as Timothy helped her carry her things and open the door along the way and then arranged her schedule in the afternoon when she got home. He even paid the cable bill, which hadn't been paid for a long time, and used the remote control to turn on the TV and change it to her favorite idol drama channel.
The more thoughtful, thorough, and attentive he was, the more certain Queenie became of that suspicion. Finally, as Timothy was packing everything up and picking up his briefcase to go out, Queenie stood behind him and asked in a deep voice, "Timothy Carter, where are my parents?"
Timothy stopped putting on his shoes and turned to look at her. He saw that Queenie's face was solemn and her eyes were deep as if she had guessed something. Her whole body was tense like she was both on the defensive and on the offensive. It seemed like she would immediately expose him if he dared to lie.
He frowned and was suffering. He knew that he shouldn't keep it from her, but she just arrived in a world that was new to her and he didn't want to tell her the bad news so soon. He hoped to tell her after a break so that perhaps she would suffer less.
But now he knew he couldn't keep it to her any longer. This clever woman already figured it out.
"They... passed away," Timothy said in a low voice as he looked at her heartbreakingly.
Queenie suddenly felt a flash of white light before her eyes. She lost her strength as her head was spinning. She stumbled two steps and held onto the sofa beside her. She used the last bit of strength to hold herself up to keep herself from falling over.
"When?" Queenie asked as she gritted her teeth with red eyes.
"Mum passed away fifteen years ago. Dad passed away the year before last." Timothy replied softly with a nervous voice.
His father-in-law and mother-in-law were both good people who had treated him like their son in the past. Their passing was not a small shock to him. After all, they were the few bonds he had with Queenie in this world.
Queenie couldn't help but cry, "Why?"
"illness."
Queenie's voice was lighter and lighter, "Were they in pain when they pass away?"
Timothy comforted her, "Luckily, their illnesses were all acute. They didn't suffer much. They probably missed you more!"
"How... were... their funerals?" Queenie asked in a strangled voice.
"I held all their funerals. The funerals were decent. Don't worry." Timothy walked over to her and wanted to give her some strength and hug this poor girl. But Queenie lowered her head and restrained herself hard. She whispered, "Thanks! Thank you, Timothy Carter!"
After saying that, she turned around and slowly walked back to her room. She closed the door and locked it tightly as if that would stop her from throwing herself into Timothy's arms and crying hard.
Queenie choked with sobs as she bit her fingers. "It's laughable, isn't it? There isn't even one person in the world now that I could hold and cry bitterly." she thought.
She had no family left, not a single one. She was really the only one left.
She... was alone.
Who could tell her what she should do?
Timothy stood frozen as he listened to the sounds of crying coming from the room. It took a long time before he called his colleagues and canceled a lecture at a university this afternoon.
Timothy found a bag of fresh food bought at the supermarket from a pile of shopping bags scattered on the floor and sorted them into different categories in the fridge. Queenie cried in her room for a long time and the room was quiet in the evening.
"Maybe she's tired of crying." Timothy thought as he looked down.
The clam chowder was simmering on the gas stove. Timothy stared unblinkingly at the smoky casserole and froze.
The world was unpredictable.
Queenie watched a TV Series before she disappeared. The hero of the TV Series made a meal of clam chowder for the heroine, which she found particularly romantic, so she pestered Timothy to learn how to make it for her as well.
Back then he was too young and spoiled by his parents, so he didn't like to do housework. Although he agreed, he learned how to cook it after a long time. It was Christmas before he had a chance to cook it.
Before Queenie went home alone for Christmas, she pinched his cheek and said he could cook for her when she returned. At that time, he promised to do so, but he never thought he would not have the chance to cook it for her for the past twenty-three years.
Today, he was finally able to make clam chowder for her for once. He finally got the opportunity. However, his father-in-law and mother-in-law had so many dishes they wanted to make for her, but they never could...
He understood how regretful, how painful, how worried his father-in-law and mother-in-law were when they pass away.
He also understood what Queenie was feeling right now. The pain of losing a loved one, the sadness of never being able to see each other again, was like a violent meat grinder that directly strangled the whole heart into pieces. It hurt so much that it was not helpful to even cry out with all the strength in her body.
Timothy sat in the dining room for a long time. When the clam chowder got cold, he heated it up again, over and over again. It was late at night and Queenie still didn't come out. He walked over and knocked on the door, but there was no sound in the room. He couldn't help but worry, so he found the spare key and opened the door. He only saw that Queenie curled up alone in the corner and was still in tears in the dark room.
Timothy walked over, knelt down, and reached out to pat her on the shoulder.
Queenie lifted her head, which had been buried in her arms, with the crying hoarse voice, "I'm fine. I figured that out actually. How would they change their numbers? How would they keep me from finding them?"
Queenie asked, "Do you want to go back to see them? I buried them all at the old house."
Queenie shook her head gently as she shed tears, "I don't want to go there. At least I don't want to go there now. I'm not ready yet."
She didn't want to face the cold tombstone and the reality. If she didn't go to see them, she could still fool herself that her parents were still alive and that she was just back in town for work after the Christmas vacation. When she was free at the end of the month, she could go home on vacation and her parents would still be waiting for her at home with a table of food, just like before.
She remembered the warmth of their hands and their warm smiling faces. She even remembered clearly that when she left home yesterday, her father helped her carry her suitcase to the junction, gave her a taxi, and even insisted on accompanying her to the station.
But she refused. She said, "Dad, you should go back. It's so cold. Don't bother."
If she had known that it was the last time, she would have let her father see her off, let him take her to the station, and let him carry her luggage. She would have hugged him with all her might, bid farewell to him with a thousand words, and told him with the sincerest heart, "Daddy, I love you!"
Queenie couldn't stop crying again when she thought about it.
She lowered her head and choked up as she asked, "Timothy, can I go there later? I really ......"
"Of course, you can. I know you can't accept it yet." Timothy's voice was full of magic, so gentle and calming and soothing, "Take it easy, let me know when you want to go there."
Queenie couldn't help but express her gratitude once again, "Thank you, Timothy!"
Timothy glanced at her and didn't answer. He was just thinking that this was the second time she expressed her gratitude today. In the past, she never expressed her gratitude to him and always asked him for many things for granted. When he was displeased, she would hold his face and kiss him as she pressed his head, then say with an ingratiating smile, "I love you so much. I'm asking you to do me this little favor to give you a chance to reciprocate! You have to cherish it, you know?"
And he was always satisfied by such a sweet word from her and couldn't resent her at all.
But now... she was always saying "thank you".
Thank you, Timothy! Those were never the words he wanted to hear. He stood up and whispered, "I've made clam chowder. Come out and have some!"
"Thanks! But I don't want to eat." Queenie said downcastly.
Timothy silently lowered his eyes and did not persuade her anymore. He turned around and slowly walked out, closed the door, and walked to the kitchen to turn off the gas stove. He silently served a bowl of rib and seaweed soup and placed it on the dining table before he walked to the door and changed into his leather shoes to leave. His back blended in with the deep night and faded away. It seemed that even the darkness of the night could not cover his despondency, and even the cold winter could not freeze the sadness in his heart.