"Is the Owusu library the largest?" I ask Ami, while she is teaching me about navigation.
Unfortunately, my mind keeps on getting distracted. I just found out that navigation is something I don't enjoy. Right now, Nadif and Elroy are taking a break or covering up for Ami's tasks, while she teaches me. According to her, it will be our 'bonding'. I just didn't know that bonding can be so sleep-inducing.
"Nope. Right now, the largest library is in Orttenburg. Once we arrive there, you will see why."
"Then, why is Owusu's library the most well-known? People from Owusu also take pride in it."
"Orttenburg library is the largest. But the Owusu clan has the rarest of books. They are also known to keep forbidden knowledge."
"But Owusu people are muscle-heads, right?"
"Captain Klevon for one, is not just a musclehead," Ami defends. "And you've seen Elroy. He's not the usual, muscular warrior from Owusu. Nadif is a typical Owusu though."
"Your point is?"
"Sometimes the Owusu clan will bear a child who loves books. Captain Klevon's great grandfather is one. He is a collector of rare books. They said it's because the love of his life is a massive bookworm."
"Hmmm…" I mutter. Now, I am getting more interested in Owusu. Maybe, there's a chance I can go there with Theo? "Are we going straight to Orttenburg?"
"No. We are going to stop over at Duran."
Duran. Theo assumed that my previous mate is from that country. What was his name again? Adan?
"You are from Penrose, right? Because I remember that the King comes from there when he returns with you."
Penrose. The Kingdom where Coe Wren is from. I clutch my chest as I remember how she is with Theo. I remember the clamps, the slaps on her ass, and the way he forces her to please him. I shake my head and look at Ami again.
"Are you remembering something terrible?" Ami asks. "You are from a poor family, right? That's what the King said."
"I'm not, remembering bad things." I swallow. So, he even lied about my origin. "Should we continue?" I ask instead.
Aware that I don't want to discuss it, she continues by teaching me about coordinates, and maps and how to read them in conjunction with the weather and the current state of the atmosphere. The lesson takes a whole day, and when dusk comes, I am already too dizzy with all the knowledge.
Nadif comes to check on us and peers at me. "I don't think you can drink with us tonight. You look tired."
"I want to drink," I say, remembering what Theo promised earlier. That is, he will return the favor of me biting at him last night. However, in my case, I don't think it will be painful. Rather, it will be the opposite, but I hope I feel the pain instead.
Ami elbows him and Nadif adds, "I think, for now, you can't. The King is angry at us last night. If we do that again, you might see our heads on the gates of Pitchford."
"The King does not own me, so if I want to drink, I will drink!"
"That's what I thought as well," comes the voice.
I jerk. I make a smile before whirling around to face Theo. His arms are across his chest and all I can think of is to be imprisoned in his muscular arms again.
"What are you doing here, my King?"
"It's dusk already. It's your duty to return."
"I am under time."
He raises his brows. "I need you to guard me."
"You are stronger than me, sire. I don't think you need my protection."
Damn, I want to congratulate myself for a job well done in trying to resist this mate bond.
"Kaiya, are you learning to lose your integrity instead?"
I wince and bite my lips. Saying that in front of other wind magicians, sometimes I really can't help but be annoyed at him. So without a choice, I stand up and say to Ami and Nadif, "I will need to go for now to carry out my other responsibility."
Ami nods, and I walk toward Theo. When I see a warm smile on his face, I pause and walk away from him instead. I dash towards our room and shut the door in his face, but he catches it just in time before it can make a noise.
I pause in the center of the room and stare at the couch. Maybe, I can sleep there for today. I am still thinking of how I can sleep away from the bed when Theo's arms wind around my waist and pulls me into a kiss.
Needless to say, it is a very sweet kiss, full of longing and love, that I can't help myself but respond to him. It is too late when I realize that I am already on the floor naked, with Theo on top of me who is also naked. I am breathing hard and squirming under his touch and he is worshiping every part of my body.
"You are very beautiful, Kaiya," he whispers while licking and sucking on the inner side of my legs.
And I can't speak. I am very much defeated by this mate bond and every time his fingers touch my skin, I make a painful moan of pleasure. I like it and hate it, both at the same time. This feeling is very conflicting. I don't know what to do, so I allow him to decide for me, and all I do is writhe under his attention.
"Kaiya, you enjoy it, right? At least, the way we make love?" His fingers make circling motions on my inner legs close to my throbbing mound. "At least that, tell me that you love my fingers, my kisses, and my touch."
When his fingers move dangerously close to my womanhood, I raise my hips so he can touch me already, but he pulls my hips down as he continues with the torture.
"Tell me, Kaiya. Even if you don't love me, just say that I am the only one who can make you disheveled and delirious like this."
I reach to his head and hungrily kiss him. He answers my kisses with equal fervor. His tongue dances around mine, making solid movements and nibbling on my lips.
"F*uck me now, my King."
He covers my mouth with his hand. "I will not f*uck you, Kaiya. Never." His eyes soften as he looks at me. "It's only you that I will make love to. This is not just lusting on my part. This is showing you how much I care and love you."
Then, his fingers slowly enter my womanhood. I groan and he removes his hand over my mouth. I open my legs further to accommodate more of him. He stretches me out, making sure that he will hit my most pleasurable spot inside.
My body contorts. My head pulls back, and my hands tightly clutch onto his sweaty arms. But his eyes never leave my face, as if he is memorizing the craziness that he is making me feel. Then his movements become faster and I shut my eyes and my moans become louder.
"Stop! Ah! Theo!" I scream, but his fingers are incessant in making me feel the pleasure that is so pronounced, it's enough to make me mad. And then my body felt it, the blinding intensity that only our mate can make us feel. I heave, agonized by this trembling, insurmountable desire for him. I reach for his neck and kiss him. And then something falls on my cheeks. I blink and open my eyes, only to see him crying.
Why is he crying? He lightly touches the corner of my eyes and wipes the tears that have fallen due to the powerful release I just had.
"Why are you crying?" I ask.
He makes a sad smile. "Sometimes I wonder if we will only be like this. Are we going to just answer the call of our flesh…"
It's not a question, rather he is making a statement.
"I know it's greedy of me. You have given me your body. You still share my bed, despite the hurt I've caused you and will cause you in the future. But Kaiya, I can't lie to you anymore. I still want your love. I want to know what's on your mind. I want to know your life, at least the things I don't know about. I want to feel secure that even if I see you with other men, I will know that your heart and mind are on me. I want to belong to you, and I want you to belong to me. I want all that, and yet, all I can have is your body."
And pain so distinct pinches my chest. My heart gives out and all my walls crumble before his tears and confession.
I'm no longer thinking and letting my heart decide when I whisper, "I love you, Theo. I belong to you, heart, body, and soul."
I cup his despairing face and sigh, before saying, "Like what you said last night to me, I am all yours too."