I stand in the corner with other personal guards of the royalties of different Kingdoms. Darius is standing on my left, straight and unmoving. I try to mimic him, but I don't have his discipline. So, I content myself with listening to the conversation. Sometimes, I hop on different feet. When I did it again, I almost fall if not for Darius who catches my arms to steady me.
Ashamed, I look up at him and mouth a thanks. He leans forward and whispers, "Rather than being a guard, you should have your own guard instead."
I wince and withdraw from his grasp. I shift my attention back to the royalties and see Theo frowning at me. Being caught, he turns his attention towards the conversation again.
"I can see that King Theo is enamored with you. I doubt King Seth will be able to steal you."
I ignore him so we return to a spell of silence again. I think Darius and King Seth are treating me differently because I was the Alpha Queen. It still feels surreal though. I think I am not meant for royalty especially when I enjoy my time, with Ami and the others, as an ordinary warrior.
I wonder what they are doing now while I am trapped in all these formal meetings and discussions. I lean close to Darius and ask, "Where are the other Pitchford citizens who are with us when we arrive?"
"The warriors and mages are in the training grounds. The others, based on their designations, are in different places," he answers.
So, Ami and the rest are within the castle. I wonder if I will be able to meet them? I transfer my eyes to Theo. He is scowling at me. I groan. That means I will not be allowed to meet them. So, I shift my weight on my right foot and take a deep breath again.
An hour after, King Seth and Theo approach us. Theo still looks regal with his formal attire, while King Seth seems to have a liking for wearing open chest vests.
"Kaiya!" King Seth greets. Then, to my surprise and probably to others, he embraces me. I blink while my arms are on my side, uncertain where to place them. When he pulls back, I glance at Theo. He is clenching his jaws and fists. "I am discussing with King Theo about you being my concubine."
I glower at him, and he grins as an answer. "King Seth, I-"
"I told you, call me Seth."
I glance at the other dignitaries who are all looking at us. "I will not be your concubine," I say and I see Theo relaxes a little.
"How about my Queen then?" Seth insists as he holds both my shoulders. In my peripherals, I see Theo tense again.
"You know who and what I am. I can't be your Queen." If I were not angry at Theo, I might have found his flip-flopping emotions as adorable.
"I don't care though. You deserve the position more than any other woman in the world. It would be my honor if you become my wife."
I see Theo bristles at that. He looks confused at me and King Seth, probably asking himself why I deserve the position and be beside an Orttenburg monarch, especially when he, himself, can't offer a concubine position to me.
Clenching my jaws, I take Seth's hand and remove it from me. "No matter what you offer, I can't be an Orttenburg citizen or royal. I am still in the process of finding myself."
"And if you found yourself? Will you become my Queen? I-"
"She won't," Theo answers for me. He reaches for my wrist and pulls me away from the room. He didn't even bow at the other royalties. So, like a piece of heavy luggage, I am sharply pulled away from the room.
From the way he holds me, I already know where he is going to take me. I also start to get embarrassed, especially at the way other people are taking a peek at us. I can't even use my magic. I worry that it will only look strange–personal guards don't hurt the people they protect.
"Theo, let me go!" I plead, but it's something that fell on deaf ears.
When we reach our room, he closes the door behind me and smashes my body against it. I am about to use my magic when he presses his lips against my mouth. And the contact weakens my resolve to get away from his hold. Rather, my body wants to answer his kisses.
So, in order to fight against it, I evade his kiss and push at his chest. I take in his warmth and his pounding heart through my palms. But Theo catches my chin and makes me face him. His tongue pries my mouth open just so he can touch my tongue with his.
The desire wells up in my gut again. This time, I push sharply at him. I don't want to feel this! But instead, he traps me against the door. His kisses are rough and forceful as if he is trying to devour me. I use my magic to push him away and finally, I slap him.
He freezes and touches his reddening cheeks. He is a picture of defeat. At this moment, he does not look like a King. Rather, he looks like a peasant who cannot get what he desires.
"No matter what you do. Soon, you will crawl back into my arms. You will accept my life as a King, including my duties to my concubines," he whispers.
"And you should accept the fact that I can be with someone else too!"
He smashes my body against the door again and warns, "No one is allowed to touch you! And you are not allowed to have another lover!"
I push at his chest. "I can! If I want to!"
"You can't! You love me! I know that you do!"
"I don't! Not anymore!"
"You still have the mate bond," he says, his voice more controlled this time. "Don't lie to me."
"Mate bond has lust. Love is another thing entirely!"
We glare at each other and it's him who looks away first. "Ha! You don't love me. You don't belong to me. And you are being seduced to leave my side. Don't push a drowning man, Kaiya."
"Drowning?!" I hit his chest. He's not the one who's drowning! It's me who is drowning in this pain of loving him! How dare he!
"You know I can't let you go."
"Then you should learn to do just that!" I scream at him.
I get away from his grasp and take my place in the corner of the room. I am huffing from anger and he looks forlorn. After a while, he shuffles from the door and back to his worktable. Even with his back hunched, he works for the Kingdom. His duties and work are something that he will choose more than anything in the world.