MARA'S POV
I went to visit the Ottave's garden.
This was the place where James and I used to play.
I suddenly miss those times. It was those times when everything felt normal, the time when my only concern is to play and enjoy life, the time when I thought that I have a normal family, that just like the other kids, I was also made out of love.
This was the reason why I got so excited to meet James again because he is one of my happy memories when I was young.
I then thought of what Manang Lucy asked me a while ago.
What if I knew that I am originally arranged for James and not for Andrew?
Will things be changed?
I have a feeling that if I knew it at that time, then things will not be like this.
"It seems like something's bothering with my princess."
I automatically smile when I heard James' voice. That was his endearment to me before.
"You surprise me with your revelation eh!" I told him.
I heard him chuckle and sit beside me.
We both watched the sunset like we always do before.
"Just like the old times." We said together.
We both chuckled.
I rested my head on his shoulder. "You've gone for too long!"
"Because you are always avoiding me!" He countered back.
"At that time I thought.... haist."
I can't continue my statement because until now I still can't believe what I found out today.
"Is that the reason why you keep on avoiding me before?"
He seems like he finally understood my actions before. I just smiled at him.
"So that is why you were also ignoring my messages?!"
My brow creased. "Messages?"
I heard him chuckle.
I gave him a soft punch because instead of him giving me an answer, he just gave me a laugh.
"I added you on Facebook and I even send you messages but you always seen zoned me."
My brow creased more.
I can't remember anything.
He laughed so hard and then he got his phone. I saw him opening his Facebook account, and he showed me some messages.
My eyes widen in surprise, that's why I also open my Facebook and started to search for those messages.
"You go to the message request." He instructed me.
I went to the message request and I saw the message he was telling me about, it was almost a year ago.
This was during my wedding day.
'Hi my princess! I heard you're getting married today. Do you love him? Aren't you waiting for me?'
That was his last message to me. I then read all his previous messages. He always sends me messages, especially during my birthday and his.
I didn't notice it because I was consumed by my feelings toward my family.
I bit my lower lip.
So all this time he was always reaching out to me?
"I'm sorry." that is the only word I can utter.
I saw him biting his lower lip too. "Why are you saying sorry?"
"Because you failed to reply to my messages or because you did not accept my friend request?" He added.  
"Or... because you failed to fulfill our promise that you will marry me? Or because you have already forgotten me?" He said seriously.
"All of it," I answered him.
He gave me a forced smile.
I was busy looking at his face when I didn't notice that my tears are pouring out.
He wiped it with his hand.
"Hush princess. It's okay. What's done is done. I understand you okay?" He said while his hands were on my face.
He kissed me again on my forehead.
I just close my eyes, feeling his kiss.
***
Maru and I were quiet the whole trip.
I can feel that something is bothering him but I chose to keep quiet.
When we reach home, we both went straight to our room, and do our usual night routine before we went to bed.
I'm done with my shower while Maru is still sitting in our bed.
I just went to the other side of the bed.
I was already lying down when I heard his talk.
"Did it come back?" He asked me.
I look at him a bit confused. "What do you mean?"
I saw his hand gripping his towel.
"Y-your feeling for my brother. Did it come back?" He asked me seriously.
I just look at him. I can see fear in his eyes. For what?
"Did it come back?!" He shouted.
My eyes widen because of shock.
I think this is the first time that he shouted at me like that.
"What are you saying?" Still confused by his question.
"You love him!" He said accusing me.
I nodded.
"Yes," I whispered.
I saw his shoulder drop and his eyes weaken.
"Until now?" I can feel his pain while asking me.
"He will always be part of my life." I just said.
"What about me? Who I am in your life?" I saw that his tears are about to come out.
"You are my husband."
"Oh f*CK! Yes! Just your husband!" He said while wiping his tears.
"What is happening to you?" I can't help but ask.
He just shook his head. "If I were not your husband, will I still be part of your life?"
"Maru..."
I can't take the things that he is saying right now. I can feel that he's hurting.
"Do you still think of me whenever you are calling me Maru? Or even before, am I the one who is coming in your head whenever you call me with that name?!"
I can't stop myself anymore.
I went close to him.
"Maru what are you saying?!"
"That's the truth! Since then, when we were young, you were always calling my big brother Maru and not me! You were not even glancing at me!" He accused me.
"I have my reasons before Maru! You will never understand!"
"Then tell me what is it for me to understand!" Frustratingly he said.
"And who will understand you ha? My big brother?! That's why you told him all the things that happened to you before?!" I felt shocked.
"You heard us?"
I told James the things that happened before.
Why I chose to avoid him and not answer his messages before because I felt that he has the right to know. I owe him an explanation.
"Why you can tell him those things easily while you kept it hidden from me?! Why???"
I bit my lower lip. I can feel myself trembling because of fear and guilt.
"I am your husband Mara but you never told me anything about you and your feelings."
"You never told me the things that happened to you, your problems and resentment!" He added.
"You told me you love me?!"
"Oh wait!" He said while continuing in wiping his tears.
"Maybe you were just at the peak of your emotion when you said that you love me? Because after that time, you never told it to me again!" He is full of resentment while confessing his feeling.
I can't find myself to answer him. It feels like there is a lump in my throat. I'm just trembling while silently crying.
"And now that he is back, you then realize that you should have waited?! That you wish that you know all this before you married me! That you will be happier to build a family with him! But now, you can't do anything because we are married and having a child now!"
"Is that it? Is that the reason why you are crying right now?!"
I was trying to reach his hand on him, but he keeps on pushing it.
Until I felt something on my legs.
My eyes widen when I saw blood on my legs.
"Maru... our baby Tanya..."
I saw his eyes widen upon seeing blood on my legs.
He carried me before my vision went blank.