Logan rushed through his breakfast hastily. It was the day he would travel down south to Texas, where his uncle's pack was. 

The room was devoid of Aella as Logan walked into it. He sighed with relief and closed his eyes as he viewed the empty room. He had been praying not to meet her in the room; it seemed that the goddess had answered his prayers today.

He was not ready for the emotional strain he knew would be present between them if he had met her in the room. In fact, he wasn't ready for her at all. He wasn't sure he could hear the hurt and anticipation he would see in her eyes if he came in. She would want him to hug her, give her a kiss or at the very least, a nice parting word. But he was not capable of showing her any form of love now. He wanted to create as much emotional distance between them as possible. He did not want to get hurt by her again.

He walked over to where his brown traveling bag stood, already packed by a maid. He picked it up and slung it over his shoulders, taking a last look around and sighing before walking out again.

He sprinted down the staircase, taking it two at a time. When he got down, he saw that Casper was already waiting at the entrance of the foyer with Louve and Aella. He noticed how Louve and Casper put so much distance between themselves, despite the fact that they were so close in proximity to each other. Louve was in a discussion with Aella when she saw her cousin descend from the staircase. She tapped Aella to draw her attention and pointed to the stairs.

Aella gave him a once-over as he stopped in front of them, her brown eyes perusing his dressing. He was decked out in a white dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the neck and wrists, and a pair of blue Jeans. He was putting on a pair of black sneakers and his hair was in its characteristic ponytail.

She herself had obviously tried to look pleasing for him, probably following Louve's suggestion. She had on a black skin-tight top that brought out the curves of her boobs, and an equally tight pair of black Jeans. Her curly, coal-black hair was parted in the middle and tucked behind her ears, giving her a preppy, school-girl look. Her big brown eyes stared up at him, obviously anticipating a comment on her dressing.

"Wow, you look good Aella." Casper commented with a prompting edge to his voice, probably to push Logan into saying something about her dressing too but Logan merely frowned and grunted, nodding in her direction without looking at her.

He turned to Louve and patted her shoulder. "I will send word to you once I arrive south." He said.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be expecting. Good luck and safe journey." Louve said to him without smiling. She obviously hadn't liked the way Logan had ignored his mate.

Logan gestured to Casper and the both of them moved towards the door of the foyer and out of the pack house. A posh car was waiting for them in front of the pack house, with a chauffeur standing by it. He opened the door for them and they stepped into the car, then turned around and walked into the car, starting the ignition.

As the chauffeur drove away from the pack house, Logan looked out of the tinted windows at his cousin and his mate standing in front of the building. Louve was waving at the retreating vehicle, though without her natural enthusiasm. Her face was stone cold and grim. Aella on the other hand wasn't waving; her arms were wrapped around her body as though she was trying to shield herself from pain. Her careful tucked hair had been blown around in the wind, and her face was set in a grimace.

She was crying.

Logan felt his stomach plummet as he watched her tearful face. He had never seen Aella cry, ever. The closest he had come to hearing her cry was when he had fought with her and listened through the door at her ragged sobs. Those sobs had torn through his heart like a knife through flesh.

But this time he was watching her cry, and he didn't know which was worse. Her face squeezed up in tears or her ragged, heartbreaking sobs.

Louve who would usually greet him or wave at him with childish enthusiasm was doing it with a sober face now. And Aella who he thought could never shed a tear was doing it so openly.

Logan couldn't shake the feeling that things might never go back to being the same. So much had changed in the past few days.

He quickly turned away from the heartbreaking sight of Aella and Louve and looked forward, sighing.

"I've never seen Aella cry." Casper murmured.

"Neither have I seen Louve so stony-faced." Logan replied. 

They both looked at each other, each man realising and regretting all the mistakes they had made in the past few days.

They continued the car ride in relative silence for a while after that before Casper spoke up again. "I don't know how to go about fixing what I have with Louve, alpha. And....and I fear it is damaged for life." He said. Then he looked at the alpha warily. "And how are things between you and Aella? Finally getting better?"

"When did I ever tell you that things were bad between us?" Logan grunted. 

"You didn't have to tell me anything, Logan. I have eyes." Casper scoffed. "I could see the uneasy tension between you and Aella like smoke from miles away." He took a pause, as though considering his next words, then spoke up again.

"I know I have messed things up real bad between Louve and myself, but I don't know how to go about fixing the broken relationship. It seems now that everything I do with her is bound to somehow erupt in my face. I miss my mate, Logan. I miss the old Louve."

"I feel the same way too." Logan replied reluctantly. "I can't even look at my mate in the eye. I'm scared that I'll see the hurt and pain in her eyes, and I'll know that the pain is there because of me, that I caused it. She wants me to love her again, but I cannot do that, not while I still harbour all these doubts in my heart towards her."

Casper looked at him, seeing the conflict etched in every line of his face. "But all we can do is our best, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Logan muttered. "Perhaps without all these issues about rogues, things would have been better. It's confusing and frustrating, what is between Aella and I. On one hand, I feel like I can trust her. But on the other hand, fate keeps giving me reasons not to trust anything she does. I don't know, after that tattoo reveal, I'm not even sure I know my mate after all. Heck, I don't even know what kind of life she lived before she met me. All I know about her is that she's The White Wolf. If that somehow has any consequence on our relationship, I do not know. The Goddess fucked me up really bad by giving her to me as a mate, Casper."

Casper looked at his alpha in mild disbelief. That was more than he had ever heard Logan say in one sitting. Logan was a man of very few words, but for him to have poured out his heart like this, it had to be something that was really hurting him. And without another word, Logan settled back into the seat of the car and they continued their journey in silence.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence as the two men were lost in thoughts about their mates. Logan had one last fleeting daydream about when he had had sex for the first time with Aella, before drifting into a troubled sleep.

The car climbed over a speed bump abruptly and Logan woke with a start, hitting his head against the window. "Ow!" He exclaimed and rubbed his head, his eyes still closed. Then he slowly peeled his eyes open and rubbed a hand over his sleep-streaked face.

"Wow." He grunted to himself. "Some alpha I am."

"Yeah." He heard Casper mutter beside him. "You slept off like a baby throughout the car ride. I dare say you even snored and stained the car seat with a few litres of your saliva."

Logan grunted, not in the mood for one of Casper's jokes. He sat up and looked around. The bright sun was sinking into the horizon already and the car was parked at the gate of an estate of sorts. 

On both sides of the road that led to the estate, the land was flat, grassless and yellow. Logan could see hills on the far side, close to the horizon. There were wells set at intervals on the grassless landscape, some of which had men working around them. Logan remembered how Louve had fallen into a few of those shallow wells when they were little and smiled to himself.

Around the large estate and to the back, a couple of houses stood. Those were probably the hoses of members of their pack. The first lights were coming on in the houses, looking like glow-worms or fallen stars. The view was beautiful, almost picturesque, reminding Logan of the pictures of Middle Eastern communities that he had seen.

Logan turned away from the breathtaking view and looked forward. The chauffeur was talking with a man in a blue uniform. He passed a clipboard which everyone in the car signed, then opened the gate and waved them in.

Logan wound down the car window to get a better view of the estate. At first glance he was utterly awed. He had never seen anything like it. He opened his mouth involuntarily and didn't know when a gasp slipped from his lips. He had been here before, many years back when he was little. He could not remember how the estate had looked then, but he remembered having the same feeling of awe as this.