After my bath, I return to Theo's office. He is still there, thankfully. At least, I won't suffer from guarding him outside his harem rooms. Realizing that I need to announce myself first, I unconsciously touch my clothes. It's new. I burned my previous clothes even though I feel bad for it. It is completely fine, but since General Lorant said that the green blood is dangerous, I needed to do it.
"King Theo, I am back."
"Come inside, Kaiya. It will be cold outside soon."
I look at the window in front of me. It will be a few hours before it becomes cold, so I stay my ground. Suddenly, the door opens and Theo pulls me inside. Closing the door behind me, he presses his body against me and I hit my back on the door.
I frown at him especially when he caresses my cheeks. He gazes into my face, his fingers lightly tracing my jaw, up to my forehead, and back again. I can feel my desire rising, so I make sure to stand as rigid as possible.
Then he presses his lips on me, and I tightly close my mouth. His tongue demands entrance but I will not give in to my desire to answer him. He pulls back again. His arm on top of my head and his other hand on my chin.
"Open your mouth, Kaiya. I want to taste your mouth," he whispers seductively. My heart thumps on my ribcage, and I shake my head. "Please…" he whispers, his eyes on my lips. "I want to kiss you."
"I can't-"
He presses his mouth on me again, using the opportunity to scour my mouth with his tongue. I try to pull back but he traps me with his body and the door. His hand forces my mouth to open further for him and his other hand is snaking down my back.
I want to scream at him to stop, especially when I feel my body responding to him. His kisses are heady and intoxicating, and it's been a while since I find myself going weak. I want him to stop kissing me, but my body starts to rub against him for a sense of intimacy.
Thankfully, his mouth leaves mine and starts to nibble on my neck. I am about to complain when I realized I am breathing hard. He reaches my butt and squeezes. The pleasure is too much that I cover my mouth to stop moaning.
I squirm against his touches and kisses. I am weakened against him. However, instead of telling him to stop, I tightly close my eyes and ensure that my hands are tightly clamped over my mouth. I need to focus and not moan from all these dizzying sensations.
Then he stops. He wraps his arms around my body, which is shivering in desire, and leans his forehead on my shoulders.
"You don't want this, don't you?" he asks.
My body wants it, but my mind does not, so I don't dare to speak.
"I love you, Kaiya," he whispers again and my heart is getting pinched by the amount of sadness in his words. "In everything, I always know what to do, but with you, I am always at a loss."
I slowly breathe. I need to calm myself from his onslaught, but it's proving to be hard, with his lavender scent still invading my senses.
He pulls back from me and gazes into my eyes. "Tell me what to do to gain your forgiveness." Then he presses his forehead to my forehead and whispers, "I want you back. Tell me what I should do," he repeats.
But I didn't speak this time. I am afraid he will kiss me again if I open my mouth. And if he did, I am not sure how I can struggle against the mate bond again.


******************
The grueling days and weeks with Theo continue. Warrior practices in the early morning and his personal guard during the day. What's worse is that I need to make sure that I won't give in to the mate bond and respond to all his touches and kisses. Then at night, when I am both physically and emotionally tired, I memorize the tenets of being a warrior.
"The expedition is going as expected and within budgets, King Theo," Harbin informs.
For the past few days, I am allowed inside the room, as per General Lorant's suggestion. He said that it will be faster for me to act if there would be another assassination. From what I've heard, I can sense the attempts easier compared to the other Generals. They've increased the security, but magic needs to be strengthened.
"When will be the final date on your travel towards Orttenburg?" General Waluyo asks, who is always the main guy to take care of Pitchford every time Theo is out.
"We will leave tonight," Theo answers. I can't help but takes a sigh of relief. There is only one attack against him in the past few weeks, but it's his attacks on my heart that I am more worried about.
Theo notices my relief and says, "Are you relieved that you will come with me, Miss Kaiya?" he asks, a smile appearing on his face.
I blink and look at Harbin and General Waluyo. "But I'm-"
"General Lorant suggested you come since you are effective as the King's personal guard," General Waluyo informs.
"I am not!" I complain, but can't help but ask, "I'm not the only guard, right?" Besides, he also has other guards at night, during my sleep times. "You can also ask them."
"One guard is enough and you are the most effective," General Waluyo informs. "Besides, you will share the King's room during the travel to Orttenburg."
My mouth hangs open. If Harbin did not clear his throat, I will forget that my mouth is open in the first place. This can't be! I am already guarding him and I am already being sent into a spiral of emotions! If I share a room with him, I don't think I can stop this damnable mate bond!
My mind is still wondering how to get away from it, when both General Waluyo and Harbin, take a bow and leave. I didn't even understand the specifics of the expedition!
Harbin is about to leave when he adds, "King Theo, please visit your harem before you leave. It will be great if you impregnate another woman before the travel to Orttenburg."
Theo glares at him but Harbin just bows his head and closes the door. I am still thinking when Theo walks toward me and gathers me in his arms. He is about to kiss me when I pull back and push at his face.
"You can take this time to prepare your things," he says, unaffected by the way I evade his kiss. "It will be for a few weeks. Bring your pretty clothes too. You need to dress as if you are one of my concubines."
"I don't want to!" I hiss at him. "I am your personal guard!"
"Unfortunately, I am your King…" he starts and touches his nose to mine. "So you will have no choice of the matter."
He wraps his arms around my waist, and I try to remove his vise grip. "If you don't want this, then…" he whispers, "… become my Queen instead."
I glare at him, and he laughs. We both know that I can never be that, and this joke is just hurting me all the more.
"Let me go, Theo."
"Ah, at last, you call me that way again. I love how you say my name."
I grimace.
"You will also attend a couple of social functions, Kaiya. Harbin says you are ready for it, so you will hang on my arms as I greet the Orttenburg royalty."
"I just said I don't want to!"
"Shhh…" he coaxes and caresses my face. "I've always dreamed of it before. Will you please patronize me on this?" I clench my jaws and glare at him. "No one knows us there. We can be just a man and a woman in love."
"I am not in love with you," I lie, which hits him with pain. He purses his lips and pulls back from me. My gut instincts are telling me to take it back, but I won't!
"Right…" he starts, his shoulders drooping. "I need to… right…" he stutters. "I need to leave. Just prepare your things for tonight."
When he left the room, I can breathe again.